Our Need to Communicate with God
Each of us has a need to communicate with God. That need has been built into us by our Creator. It is part of
God's design—part of His putting His imprint on our lives. We desire to be in touch with our Maker.
Prayer is communication with God. In its broadest definition, prayer includes both verbal and nonverbal communication—it
covers our thoughts and actions toward God, as well as our words toward God.
From this definition, some people may conclude that we are continually in communication with God because virtually
everything that we do in our lives is a message that we send to God or make before God. After all, God sees everything
we do and knows everything we think and feel. From this viewpoint, our entire lives are prayers of a sort.
Others may conclude that we live continually in an atmosphere of prayer because God is always communicating
with us. He consistently sends us messages about His great love for us—we not only have the Bible as His Word,
but messages in nature, messages that come through the loving actions and words of other people, and messages that
we perceive in the deep stirring of our spirits.
These two views of prayer, however, are in error on one key point: communication is a two-way process.
Simply sending a message is not communication. Communication requires that two parties respond to each other. Each
party gives and receives messages and, in turn, provides feedback. In other words:
• A statement is made, and a specific response is provided.
• A question is asked, and an answer is given.
• Feelings are vented, and feelings are perceived in return.
True communication with God is not talking to God, but talking with God. We do not communicate
if we voice a petition to God but do not wait for His answer. We do not communicate if we express our desires to
God but do not hear what His desires are for us. We do not communicate if we vent our anger, frustration, doubt,
fear, or joy to God but do not listen intently for His response.
Prayer is speaking to and listening to God. It is an active process involving two communicators: you
and God.
Prayer Is Intentional
Prayer does not happen by accident. While we may express our prayers through feelings and thoughts, prayer must
be intentional for it truly to be a form of communication. We must actively engage in the process. We must turn
our minds and hearts and voices toward God.
Voicing a concern about a problem to a friend is not prayer. Silently wishing something might be so is not prayer.
Confessing a fault to another person is not prayer. Feeling a spring in our step as we rejoice in the warmth and
beauty of an April day is not prayer.
To be engaged in prayer, we must voice our problem to God … with an expectation that He not only will hear us
but will respond to us.
To be engaged in prayer, we must yield our desires to God … and expect Him to answer or change our desires as
part of the process.
To be in genuine prayer, we must make our confessions to God … and actively receive His cleansing and forgiveness.
To be people of prayer, we not only must feel positive, good, or thankful, but must give voice to our thanksgivings
and praise … and open ourselves fully to experience the presence of God at work both in and around us.
Prayer Is Dialogue
From time to time, God may give us a directive or speak a command to us. Indeed, God speaks when He wills to
speak, and it is our responsibility to listen and obey. We also voice to God our heartfelt cries of anguish, sorrow,
pain, or give vent to our ecstatic joy. At these times we are talking to God or He is talking to us. This is expression,
which is valuable, but it is not the most beneficial form of communication in a relationship.
Communication that builds relationships is dialogue. Genuine prayer has all of the qualities and characteristics
of a deeply meaningful conversation between two people. God said to the prophet Isaiah, “Come now, and let us reason
together” (Isa. 1:18). This image of God and man sitting down together for a good talk is our best image of prayer.
Can you imagine living in a relationship with a person who made demands or requests, or stated opinion or facts,
but never waited to hear what you had to say? Such a relationship would be very unfulfilling. You might establish
a degree of civility and function with a modicum of efficiency with that person, but the relationship would probably
be very cold and unsatisfying to you.
That is precisely the nature of many people's prayer life. There is no heart to their communication with God,
no real intimacy, and no deep fulfillment. For communication to be satisfying, it must involve a genuine dialogue,
not a series of short monologues.
The end results of intentional dialogue can be wonderful. We know this to be true in our relationships with
other people. When we have a deep and heartfelt conversation with another person, we very often come away from
that experience saying, “I have a much better understanding of him and his problems, needs, and concerns,” “I have
deeper feelings toward that person,” “I have a greater appreciation for who she is,” or “We have a stronger friendship.”
The same is true when we communicate intentionally and in dialogue with God. We know Him more fully, understand
Him better, feel more at home in His presence, find cause to praise Him more, and have a deeper relationship with
Him.
Prayer Is the Key to Relationship
Intentional dialogue with God ultimately establishes and deepens our relationship with Him. The purpose of prayer
is that we might know God better, experience more of His love, and have an abiding awareness of His work in our
lives. Talking to God doesn't build relationship. Communicating with God does.
A relationship with God, of course, is very personal. In fact, it is the most intimate relationship you can
ever know. Nobody knows you as God knows you. Nobody loves you as God loves you. Nobody desires good for your life
more than God does. In prayer—in genuine communication with God—you will soon discover not only more about God,
but more about yourself as God's beloved child. There is no more exciting or enriching experience!
Your individual relationship with God is unique. This is true for every relationship you have with another person,
and it is no less true in your relationship with God. Your prayers must be your prayers. Your communication
with God is your communication. While written or formalized prayers have their place in certain group settings,
your times of communication with God should be marked by your own original speech. Prayer is talking with God as
you would talk to your dearest friend, your most eager supporter, your most loving mentor.
Because prayer is intensely personal, there can be no universal formulas for prayer. This study does not devote
itself to a series of procedures or offer a lockstep recipe for prayer. Rather, it deals with some general principles
that are basic to any person's prayer life. The specifics of your prayer relationship with God are as distinctive
as any other aspect of your life and your ability to communicate.
As we approach this study in prayer, I encourage you to open yourself to the grand possibility that God has
something to say to you that you will delight in hearing. He is eager to spend time with you and to develop a deep,
intimate relationship with you that is marked by great joy and well-being.
Ultimately, prayer is to be experienced, not studied. In study we simply learn how to better communicate with
God—and to that end, how to have a better relationship with our Creator. It is an experience to be pursued and
a relationship to be valued beyond all others.
From Talking With God: Discover New Insights to Help Deepen Your Prayer
Life by Charles Stanley. Copyright 1997 by Charles Stanley.
