A spiritual stronghold is any area of resistance against the working of the Holy Spirit in a person's life.
The apostle Paul addressed the issue of spiritual strongholds in writing to the Corinthians:
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal
but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself
against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:3–5)
Note specifically that a stronghold is rooted in an “argument” against God—a mind-set, attitude, or thought that
is contrary to the will of God—and in “every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God,” which
is an attitude of pride that says, in effect, “I don't need God, and I don't need to live according to God's plan,
purposes, and commandments.”
Every stronghold begins in the attitude realm; it begins in the mind and heart. The more a person argues against
God and sets his pride in opposition to God, the stronger the “stronghold” becomes. Another way of thinking of
a stronghold is to say that a negative, proud attitude toward God exerts a “strong hold” on a person. The person
who is suffering from a spiritual stronghold is a person who is stubborn, hard-hearted, stiff-necked, and in all
ways rebellious toward God.
A spiritual stronghold in the life of a family member can wreak havoc on family peace and harmony. A rebel in
the midst of a family causes untold grief.
The good news offered by the apostle Paul is this: we can pull down these strongholds.
Being Alert to Strongholds
Every person has an area of human weakness, or a propensity to sin in a certain way. As a parent, you are wise
to identify that area of weakness as quickly as possible in your child's life. In some children, it may be anger.
In others, dishonesty or lying. No two children in a family are likely to be born with the same “bent” toward evil.
You must deal with each child individually.
Very often, the propensity for a child to sin in a particular way is a reflection of a parent's propensity to
sin. Even as you look at your child's life, be aware that your child may be mirroring your life. It is not
enough to be honest about your child's tendency to sin; we each must have the courage to be honest about our own
tendency to sin and deal with it by asking God's forgiveness and help.
How can you identify an area of spiritual weakness in your child? By studying and observing your child. Take
time with your child. Listen intently to your child. Look for patterns of behavior over time. Part of your role
as a parent is to see your child in the context of weeks, months, and years; you are the foremost person responsible
for spotting long-standing “trends” in your child's behavior—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
• Have you identified the areas of spiritual weakness (prideful attitudes and justifying arguments) in your
own life?
• Have you identified spiritual strongholds in the lives of your family members?
Help Create a New Pattern
Once you have identified areas of spiritual weakness, sin, or pride, help your child to create a new pattern
of thinking and acting. You can also help your spouse, and receive help from a spouse, in combating spiritual strongholds.
Talk to your child (or spouse) about the strongholds you perceive to exist. Do not do this in a judgmental
or condemning manner, but, rather, in an objective and loving way. Let your child know that you see a trend in
his or her life, but that you love your child and desire to help your child overcome that area of weakness. Map
out a strategy together for how you will attempt to deal with this stronghold.
Guard your child in areas of spiritual weakness. This doesn't mean, of course, that you need to tiptoe
around your child or attempt to isolate your child from all normal experiences, but, rather, that you guard what
you allow in your home and who you allow your child to be with (such as a playmate, friend, or teammate). Keep
your child from others who have the same area of spiritual weakness or pride in their lives. (Do the same for your
spouse.)
Build up your child by praising and rewarding behaviors that show your child is attempting to do what is
godly. If your child has a tendency to lie, for example, you will want to reward your child for truth-telling.
If your child has a tendency to display outbursts of anger, praise and reward your child for times when he displays
kindness. If your child seems to have a “short fuse,” praise and reward your child for times in which your child
shows patience. (Let your spouse know that you appreciate your spouse's efforts to break a stronghold pattern.)
Break the cycle that builds a stronghold. Strongholds become established when the mind tells the will
to engage in a behavior and the person's emotions declare the actual behavior to be good, pleasurable, or desirable.
Because the end result is “feeling good,” the mind will be much more prone to tell the will to engage in that behavior
again. And so the cycle goes. For example, if a child has the idea to steal a bit of candy from the store, and
then he steals that piece of candy, he is likely to feel a certain degree of satisfaction and pleasure at having
“gotten away with” his sin, plus he has the treat of the candy itself. A certain “high” will be registered in his
mind, and he very likely will set his mind about the task of deciding what he might steal next. If that next theft
is successful, it also will bring a “high”—in fact, probably a little “higher high.” And so the cycle goes until
the child is devising ways to steal more and bigger things. A stronghold has been established.
What breaks the stronghold? Making certain that the sin is punished and that there is no pleasure associated
with it!
Throughout the Bible, we have numerous examples of God moving among His people in a very active way to break
the spiritual strongholds that were developing in them. It is a humble spirit (opposite of pride) and a yielding
heart that God desires. If you do not help your children acquire humility and a desire to “agree” with God, your
child will face those lessons in an increasingly strong manner from others and, ultimately, from God. Spare your
child the pain associated with being hard-hearted or stiff-necked.
As you read the passages below, ask yourself, “How might this apply to my family?”
What the Word Says
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and be stiff-necked no longer. For the Lord your God is God of gods and
Lord
of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe. He administers justice.…
You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall hold fast. (Deut. 10:16–18, 20)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
But if you do not obey Me, and do not observe all these commandments … I will punish you seven times more for your
sins. I will break the pride of your power. (Lev. 26:14, 18b–19)
What the Word Says to Me
• In what ways are you feeling challenged to correct the behavior of your child or children?
Sins of “Attitude”
Keep in mind always that the attitude of your child is just as important as your child's behavior. In the great
majority of cases, a negative attitude is a strong indicator of future bad behavior.
Negative attitudes are often displayed in behaviors such as pouting, sulking, scowling, deeply sighing, and
slamming doors. A child with a bad attitude very likely seeks to be “left alone” or to be allowed to throw a “silent
tantrum.” Such attitudes are the toehold that lead to a spiritual stronghold. As a parent, you are wise to chastise
and correct your child's attitudes as much as you do your child's deeds. If you do not, you can count on those
attitudes eventually manifesting as behaviors that generally are highly negative and often are explosive.
Reward your child's good attitudes. Praise your child for an attitude that is positive, kind, generous, loving,
or good. Let your child know that you value and appreciate such attitudes.
Attitudes are rooted in emotions as much as they are ideas. Your child will absorb the “feelings” of your family
life as much as he will absorb anything you say or do. Guard your own attitude closely. Your child will pick up
on your attitude and mirror it back to you!
Many of us pass on the feelings and attitudes we acquired as a child without questioning them. We simply do
as parents what we had done to us as children. Very often the feelings and attitudes that we have acquired are
not godly and have no place in a Christian home. Break the cycle! Be aware of your own responses. Think back to
the feelings you had as a child. Ask yourself, “Are these wise feelings to give to my own children?”
What the Word Says
If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked
ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. (2 Chron. 7:14)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
[Jesus said], “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 5:3)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
And His mercy is on those who fear Him
From generation to generation.
He has shown strength with His arm;
He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
And exalted the lowly. (Luke 1:50–52)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. (1 Peter 5:6)
What the Word Says to Me
The Sin of Pride
The sin of pride, which is the root of every spiritual stronghold, is a sin common to all mankind. It is not
easily confronted because we often are too proud to admit that we have pride! Pride is also not a sin that is easily
eradicated for it goes to the core of our very nature and what we hold to be true about ourselves and about our
relationship with God. As long as we think that we can do it on our own in any area of our lives, we are guilty
of pride.
Pride leads to
• self-justification for sin,
• excuses for bad behavior,
• demanding of one's own way, and
• less regard for others.
Jesus must become our role model for humility and meekness if we are to overcome pride. The Holy Spirit must become
our constant source of help if we are to both recognize and take a stand against pride in our lives.
In your family, do not allow your child to “justify” bad behavior by saying that “everybody is doing it” or
“it wasn't all that bad.” Accept no excuses for bad behavior.
In your family, refuse to allow a child to demand his own way by means of a temper tantrum, whining,
or manipulation.
In your family, insist that each family member show respect and deference to other family members. Don't let
a child set your family schedule, dominate a conversation, or destroy family gatherings through rudeness, anger,
or inconsiderate behavior.
Set a tone for humility in your home.
Jesus is our example in this. As you read the two passages of Scripture below, consider what it means to be
a humble person in your own family.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery
to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness
of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even
the death of the cross. (Phil. 2:5–8)
[Jesus said], “Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt.
11:29)
• What new insights do you have into these two passages of Scripture?
What the Word Says
Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov. 16:18)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
The Lord lifts up the humble;
He casts the wicked down to the ground. (Ps. 147:6)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
All of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for
“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better
than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Phil.
2:3–4)
What the Word Says to Me
Ask the Lord to reveal to you any strongholds that are taking shape in your life or in the life of your family
members. And then ask Him to help you to deal with those strongholds. Ask Him to reveal to you how you should
respond, when you should respond, and to give you the courage to respond. Earlier is better than
later when it comes to dealing with areas of spiritual weakness, pride, and strongholds of the mind and heart.
Keep in mind always that spiritual strongholds are not only the work of the devil in our lives, but they are
the means by which the devil causes us to work on his behalf! If we truly are to protect our families from evil,
then we must stop evil the instant it strikes our minds and hearts. We must truly bring “every thought into captivity
to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5b).
• What new insights do you have into the cause and nature of spiritual strongholds?
• In what ways are you feeling challenged today to protect your family by pulling down spiritual strongholds?
From Protecting Your Family by Charles
Stanley. Copyright 1998 by Charles Stanley.
