The bookshelves of countless bookstores are lined with books on family dynamics and the training of children.
Many of those that are rooted in sound Christian doctrine offer good advice. Other books offer direction in spiritual
warfare. Ultimately, however, the Bible is going to give every parent and spouse the best advice on how
to protect the family against spiritual attack, and therefore, how best to protect the family.
All family problems ultimately have a spiritual root, and the Bible is the only book that gives God's wisdom
on how to address spiritual matters. The Bible's advice regarding families is not theory—it is truth. Truth can
and must be applied; it must be “lived out.” The Bible not only tells us what is true and valuable, but it tells
us how to live.
There are those who may say, “But today's world isn't like the time of the Bible. Families are different today.”
In some respects, families do have different concerns and constraints. The greater truth, however, is that the
human heart has not and does not change. The God-ordained dynamic of family life has not and does not change. The
tactics of the enemy of our souls have not and do not change. The Bible is our best source of wisdom on the human
heart, human relationships, and spiritual strength and power. What the Bible has to say to you is as fresh and
applicable to your life today as it has been to those in every century or millennium throughout history.
Furthermore, God's truth is not bound to any one cultural group, economic stratum, or race. The truths in God's
Word are for all people. The power of God to apply those truths and to remain true to them is a power made
possible by the Holy Spirit, who is readily given to all who have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and seek to follow
Him as Lord. No promise or principle of God related to the family is off-limits or out-of-bounds to a person's
ability to receive it, act upon it, and conform to it.
As you study God's principles related to the protection of the family, I encourage you to go again and again
to your Bible. Underline or highlight those phrases or verses that seem to speak in a specific or special way to
you. Make notes in the margins of your Bible. I believe in a well-marked Bible—one filled with dates, notes, and
insights. Take note especially of the highly personal ways in which God may admonish, encourage, or direct you
to apply His Word to your life. God's truth is universal, but the application of His truth is always highly individualized
to specific circumstances and situations.
For Personal or Group Study
This study guide can be used by you alone or by several people in a small-group setting. If you are using the
guide for personal Bible study, you will find places from time to time in which you are asked to note your insights
or respond to questions. If you are using the book for small-group study, you may use these sections for group
discussion.
At various times, you will be asked to relate to the material in this guide in one of four ways:
1. What new insights have you gained?
2. Have you ever had a similar experience?
3. How do you feel about the material presented?
4. In what ways do you feel challenged to respond or to act?
Insights
Insights are not facts or opinions; rather, insights are related to the meaning and application
of facts and ideas. An insight occurs when you see a truth in God's Word as if you had never seen it before. Most
of us have had this experience. We may be reading a passage that we have read or studied for years, when suddenly,
it's as if a light is turned on and we see something we have never seen before. In nearly all cases, what we “see”
is a new nuance of meaning or a new means of applying the truth of the passage. Such insights are a genuine gift
of God to you—they are given to you precisely when you need them.
Insights are generally highly individualized and often relate to an immediate or pending personal need. Insights
help us make sense of that which doesn't seem to make sense; they help answer questions, give guidance to relationships,
and challenge us to respond to particular experiences in ways we would not otherwise have thought to act. At still
other times, insights give deep comfort or resolution to nagging doubts or spiritual questions; they bring us to
a point of knowing at a deeper level why we believe what we believe or how to respond as Christ would
respond.
Ask the Lord to give you insights every time you open His Word to study it. I believe He will be faithful in
answering your prayer. In fact, if you haven't gained new spiritual insights after reading several passages from
God's Word, you probably haven't been engaged in the process of genuine study. I also believe that as you
have insights into God's greater truth for your life, you will have an ever-growing enthusiasm for studying His
Word.
Make notes about the insights you experience. You may want to write these in your Bible or in a separate journal.
The purpose for recording insights is this: when we record insights, we become very focused and intentional on
what it is that God is going to speak to us through His Word. The more we are looking for God to speak,
the more He seems to speak!
At various places in this guide, you will be asked to note what a passage of the Bible is saying to you. These
are times for recording your personal responses or insights, not for summarizing what others in your group may
say about the passage. Make sure the insights or responses you write are your own.
Experience
No two of us have come through life to this point with exactly the same set of experiences, relationships, difficulties,
victories, or environments. We each have our own bank of ideas, opinions, and emotions. Therefore, each of us has
a unique perspective on what we read in God's Word.
We also tend to come to group settings with different levels of experience with God's Word. This can create
problems in a group Bible study, although not in all cases. For example, those who have studied the Bible in depth
and from their childhood may have a different level of understanding than those who have only recently come into
a saving knowledge of Christ Jesus or have only recently begun to study the Bible. We must be aware of these potential
differences in a group study and make certain in our discussions that the “old-timers” aren't causing beginners
to feel overwhelmed, or that those who are mature in their faith aren't becoming impatient with those who are spiritual
“newborns.”
What we have in common are life experiences. We each can point to times in which we have found the Bible
to be applicable to us. We can all point to experiences in which the Bible has seemed to confront, convict, challenge,
encourage, or comfort us, as if that passage was written only for us.
Our experiences do not make the Bible true, of course. The Bible is truth, regardless of our input. When we
share our experiences, however, we discover the many ways in which God's truth can be applied to human lives and
circumstances. In sharing our life experiences, we see anew how God speaks personally and directly to each person.
We learn how the Bible applies to practical needs, questions, and situations that we may not have experienced ourselves
but that we may yet experience in life.
Sharing experiences can lead directly to spiritual growth. You will grow as you share your own experience; see
this as a means of gaining courage and confidence in giving a personal witness to the power and love of God. You
also will grow in understanding as you hear others share their experiences. Very often the Lord puts others in
our path to share their experiences so that we will be prepared for what the future holds for us. To be forearmed
with God's wisdom is a wonderful blessing when tragedy overtakes us or conflicts erupt. Be open to hearing about
the faith experiences of others. Openly share what God has done in your life and how the Bible has been the foundation
for your faith and a source of God's direction.
Emotional Response
Just as we each have a personal catalog of life experiences, so each of us has a set of emotional responses.
Face your emotions honestly. Learn to share them openly.
Make certain that you allow others to share their emotional responses to God's Word without judgment or comment.
You may be overjoyed or feel encouraged after reading a particular passage in the Bible. Another person, however,
may respond to that same passage with doubt, fear, or questions.
Our families are close to our hearts, and therefore, matters that relate to the family are often highly emotional.
Keep this in mind as you engage in this study. We each have a “vested interest” in the protection of our families.
Be aware that we tend to be defensive when it comes to what we have or have not done as spouses, parents, or even
children of older parents. Family dynamics are often very complex, and these complexities give rise to a wide range
of emotions.
Those who have experienced family tragedy or conflict in the past are likely to have scars, if not open wounds.
Others who are currently in the throes of a crisis or conflict are likely to have conflicting emotions: pain, anger,
rejection, hurt, hate, love, forgiveness, bitterness. If the problem has existed for some time, feelings of discouragement,
dejection, depression, or alienation may exist. Be sensitive to the emotions of others.
The emotional response we have to the Scriptures is directly linked to the events and experiences of our lives.
At times we read a passage from the Bible with one set of emotions, at another time with another set of emotions.
Our emotional responses, of course, do not give validity to the Scriptures. Nor should we trust our emotions as
a measuring device for our faith. Faith is to be based on what God says, not on how a person feels. At the same
time, we must recognize that our emotional response to God's Word very often impacts what we choose to do
in the aftermath of reading God's Word. Therefore, our emotional responses are important and should be considered.
If we reject God's truth because we feel pain or conviction, we need to face up to that emotional response.
If we act upon God's truth solely because we see that it is a means of making us “happy,” we need to acknowledge
that. If we feel paralyzed from acting because we feel fear after reading God's Word, then we need to face that
issue.
There is a balance in this. Our emotions must never rule our interpretation of God's Word or cause us to limit
our reading of the Bible only to those passages with which we feel comfortable. On the other hand, we must recognize
that we are emotional creatures—given our emotions by God for a purpose—and that we always have an emotional response
to what we believe God is saying to us.
In small-group settings, it is much more beneficial for people to express their emotions than their opinions.
The Holy Spirit often speaks to us in the unspoken language of intuition, emotions, promptings, deep longings,
and desires. When we share those feelings with one another, we not only open ourselves to deeper insights, but
we also grow closer as members of the body of Christ; a spirit of community develops. It is as we share our joys
and sorrows, doubts and assurances, hopes and fears, that we mature in sensitivity and empathy—as individuals and
also as churches. We truly gain understanding in what it means to become “one in the Spirit.”
Challenges
The Word of God changes our lives the more we read it. At times, this change comes through conviction—we hear
God speaking to us, “Don't do this. Change your ways.” At other times, the Word of God causes us to feel compelled
to take a new step or to make a fresh start. We hear God saying to us through the Scriptures, “Now is a time for
you to do this. Take action.”
These moments of conviction or challenge can be very strong. They tend to occur repeatedly until we take action
on them. They are virtually impossible to ignore or escape.
As you study ways in which to protect your family spiritually, you are likely to feel challenged or convicted
at every turn. None of us is a “perfect person,” and, therefore, none of us is part of a perfect family. Opportunities
for change and growth abound!
When you experience a time of conviction or challenge, be open to it and make sure that you get the whole of
God's message to you. When we feel conviction, very often our first impulse is to close the Bible, walk away, and
attempt to ignore or deny the truth of what we have read. Don't give in to that impulse! Stay in your study. Base
your final decisions to take action on a complete understanding of God's principles and plan. Recognize that God
is not seeking to punish you as much as He is desiring to correct you for your future growth and blessing.
God is seeking to conform you to His plan and to cause you to mature to the full stature of Christ Jesus. Yield
to His purposes!
Be aware that we are responsible to God for the ways in which He challenges us. So often we read God's
Word and say, “Oh, now I understand what happened. It was his fault or it was her doing that resulted
in a situation.” The challenges that God gives us are challenges related to us personally and individually;
they are challenges that God expects us to act upon. Don't become caught up in what you believe God has
revealed to you about others; focus on what God is revealing to you about you.
I believe you can gain a great deal by writing down the ways in which God seems to be stretching you, molding
you, calling you, or causing you to believe for more. When a person identifies clearly and succinctly what God
desires, that person is in a much better position to make responsible and deliberate plans, and he or she is much
more likely to take action and not just give lip service to a plan. We are to respond to God's Word, not
merely react to it. Writing down the challenges we feel gives us an objectivity that allows us to respond with
both faith and reason.
Ultimately, God desires to get His Word into us and us into His Word so that we can take His Word into the world.
We are to live out the truth that we gain. We are to be witnesses to God's power and love in all we say and do.
It is not enough for us simply to reflect upon our past experiences, record our insights, evaluate our emotional
responses, or identify our challenges. We must obey God's Word and become doers of it (James 1:22).
Knowing how to protect your family spiritually and protecting your family spiritually are two different things.
The genuine protection comes in the doing of the things we know to do.
Keep the Bible Central
At all times, keep the Bible central to your group study. The tendency of studies such as this, and especially
so in a study related to the family, is for a group to become a therapy or support group. This book is aimed at
Bible study. If the Bible is not kept at the center of your study, you will have no sure foundation
for the sharing that you do or the prayers that you offer for one another. You will operate in human wisdom, not
God's wisdom.
Certainly therapy, support, and information-sharing groups have their time and place, but ultimately, it is
as we gather around God's Word—to feed upon it, learn from it, and grow into it—that we truly mature spiritually,
both individually and as a family.
If you are doing a personal Bible study, you also must be diligent in staying focused on God's Word. Self-analysis
and introspection are not the goals of this study. Growing into the fullness of the stature of Christ Jesus is
the goal!
Prayer
I encourage you to begin and end your Bible study sessions in prayer. Ask God to give you spiritual eyes to
see what He wants you to see. Ask Him to give you spiritual ears to hear His message to you. Ask Him to give you
new insights, to recall to your memory the experiences that will help you grow spiritually, and to help you identify
your emotions with clarity and understanding. Ask Him to reveal to you through His Word what He desires for you
to do immediately or as your next step in protecting your family spiritually.
As you conclude your time of study, ask the Lord to seal to your heart and mind all that you have learned so
that you will never forget it. Ask Him to transform you into the likeness of Christ, so that you might use all
that you have learned and apply it in a way that is pleasing to Christ.
The Depth of God's Word
As you conclude your ten-lesson course of study, be aware that you have not “arrived” at a point of perfect
protection for your family. What you have done is gained insight that will help you on your journey toward that
goal. The more you continue to read and study God's Word, the more the Lord will remind you of what you have studied
and point out to you new and deeper ways in which you can strengthen your family life. We never stop growing as
individuals, and the same is true for our family life—we never stop growing as a family in our understanding of
how to live out God's plan on this earth.
• What new insights do you hope to gain about how to protect your family spiritually? Do you have specific
needs in your family life that you are hoping will be addressed in this study?
• How do you feel about your role in protecting your family spiritually against all attacks from the enemy?
• Do you feel challenged to grow in your ability to build both a strong spiritual offense and a strong spiritual
defense in your family? Are you ready to embark on that growth today?
From Protecting Your Family by Charles
Stanley. Copyright 1998 by Charles Stanley.
