Biblical Parenting
Parents hold a most unique and challenging role in God's order: we are responsible to raise the next generation
of the kingdom of God. This obviously takes us far beyond the mere physical provision of our children's need for
food, shelter, and clothing. We have a moral, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual obligation to our children
as well.
Look up 1 Peter 2:9. Write down what is true of us, and, consequently, true of our children.
Look up Proverbs 22:6. What directive (and promise) does Scripture give to parents to guarantee that their children
become the next “chosen generation” of the Lord?
Look up Titus 2:6–8. What are we to teach the younger generation? How does this scripture have an impact on how
we live our own lives?
How does 1 Timothy 4:12 tell us we are to teach our children to live?
God holds parents responsible for the upbringing of children—not grandparents, not school, not the state, not
youth groups, not peers and friends. Although each of these groups may influence children, the final duty rests
with parents, and particularly with the father, whom God has appointed “head” to lead and serve the family. Two
things are necessary for the proper teaching of children: a right attitude and a right foundation.
An atmosphere reeking with destructive criticism, condemnation, unrealistic expectations, sarcasm, intimidation,
and fear will “provoke a child to wrath.” In such an atmosphere, no sound teaching can take place.
The positive alternative would be an atmosphere rich in encouragement, tenderness, patience, listening, affection,
firm discipline, and love. In such an atmosphere parents can build into the lives of their children the precious
foundation of knowledge of God. [Spirit-Filled Life Bible (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1991),
1796, “Kingdom Dynamics: Eph. 6:4, Parents Responsible to Raise Children.”]
Throughout Scripture, we see how parents influenced their children for righteousness or for evil. Look up the
following passages and fill in the chart below:
How did they What can
Who are the influence we learn from
Scripture parents named? their children? their example?
Gen. 24:1-6
26:1-5
Ruth 4:13-17
1 Sam. 2:12-17,
22-25
1 Kings 1:1-6,
24-27
2 Chr. 33:21-34:3
Esth. 5:9-14;
9:12, 13
2 Tim. 1:3-5
In many cases, we see evil beget evil or good beget good. Yet in some situations we see good beget evil or vice
versa. What do you think Eli and David did improperly that allowed their sons to stray toward evil?
What do you think happened in Josiah's life that allowed him to turn toward the Lord in spite of a wicked heritage?
Faith Alive
What part do you think that heredity has to play in a person's spiritual heritage?
Look up Lamentations 5:7 and Exodus 34:7. What do these verses say about the part our parents play in our spiritual
heritage? What kind of spiritual heritage did your parents provide you with?
Whether or not your parents' spiritual input was positive or negative, what does Scripture tell us about our spiritual
heritage right now as believers in Jesus Christ?
2 Cor. 5:17
Eph. 4:6
1 Pet. 2:9.
God wants a people who will walk with Him in prayer, march with Him in praise, and thank and worship Him. Note
the progression in Peter's description of the people of the New Covenant: 1) We are a chosen generation—a
people begun with Jesus' choice of the Twelve, who became 120, to whom were added thousands at Pentecost. We are
a part of this continually expanding generation, “chosen” when we receive Christ. 2) We are a royal priesthood.
Under the Old Covenant the priesthood and royalty were separated. We are now—in the Person of our Lord—all “kings
and priests to His God” (Rev. 1:6), a worshiping host and a kingly band, prepared for walking with Him in the light
or warring beside Him against the hosts of darkness. 3) We are a holy nation, composed of Jews and Gentiles—of
one blood, from every nation under heaven. 4) We are His own special people. God's intention from the time
of Abraham has been to call forth a people with a special mission—to proclaim His praise and to propagate His blessing
throughout the Earth. [Ibid., 1910, “Kingdom Dynamics: 1 Pet. 2:9, Worshipful Walk with God.”]
Praise the Lord that upon our receiving of Jesus into our hearts, we inherited a new family, a new Father, a
new spiritual heritage!
Look up these verses that also talk about the influence of the righteous on following generations. What does
the Lord promise in each verse?
Ps. 37:25, 29
Ps. 102:28
Ps. 112:2
Prov. 20:7
God reveals Himself as a Father who is tender, close to His children, and sensitive to their needs—teaching,
encouraging, helping, and healing them. Growing up is not something that He leaves to chance. He is a God who conscientiously
nurtures His children. God's heart toward His children is tenderly portrayed in the meaning behind Hosea's
name. Hoshea means “Deliverer” or “Helper.” The Hebrew root yasha indicates that deliverance or help
is freely and openly offered, providing a haven of safety for every child of God.
This is the biblical model for parents: God entrusts children to parents, allowing His own nurturing heart to
flow through them to the children. [Ibid., 1269, “Kingdom Dynamics: Hosea 11:1, 3, 4, God's Nurturing Heart in
Parents Flows to Children.”]
Look at Hosea 11:1–4 and write down how God nurtured His child, Israel.
Part of having a heart like the Lord's heart requires that we recognize the fact that loving and caring for
children honors Him.
God's covenant with Adam and Eve contained two interdependent provisions: descendants and dominion.
Two people alone could not take dominion of the Earth. It would require descendants.
For believers, having children is a response to the command, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue
it” (Gen. 1:28). In Psalm 127:3, children are called “a heritage from the Lord.” This means that children belong
to God; they are “ours” only in a secondary sense.…
When a couple enters into marriage, they make themselves available to love, serve, and sacrifice for the next
generation. To love and care for children is one of the principal ways that we honor God and share in building
His kingdom. [Ibid., 866, “Kingdom Dynamics: Ps. 127:3–5, Loving and Caring for Children Honors God.”]
Once we view parenthood through the heart of God, we then have to get down to the nitty-gritty of practical,
everyday-life application. The Bible gives us some very clear directives on what our responsibilities as parents
are. Read the following scriptures and write down what the Lord says we are to do as parents.
Prov. 22:6
Train up has the idea of a parent graciously investing in a child whatever wisdom, love, nurture, and
discipline is needed for him to become fully committed to God. It presupposes the emotional and spiritual maturity
of the parent to do so. In the way he should go is to do the training according to the unique personality,
gifts, and aspirations of the child. It also means to train the child to avoid whatever natural tendencies he might
have that would prevent total commitment to God (for example, a weak will, a lack of discipline, a susceptibility
to depression). Hence, the promise is that proper development insures the child will stay committed to God. [Ibid.,
912, note on 22:6]
1 Sam. 2:19; 1 Tim. 5:8
2 Sam. 12:16
Is. 38:19
Luke 15:20–24
Eph. 6:4
1 Tim. 3:4
Titus 2:4
Now go back over the list you just prepared and determine whether any of those fall into the three major areas
of parental responsibility: moral, intellectual, or spiritual.
Before we go on and for the purpose of our study, let's agree on definitions for these three words. First, “intellect”
can be defined as the ability to reason, to understand, to discern differences. “Moral” has to do with being able
to distinguish between right and wrong in behavior or character. Webster's defines “spirit” as “the life
principle, especially in man, originally regarded as inherent in the breath or as infused by a deity; the thinking,
motivating, feeling part of man, often as distinguished from the body.” [Webster's New World Dictionary of the
American Language (New York: World Publishing Co., 1970) 732, “intellect.”]
The words used for “spirit” in the Bible define it even further for us. In Hebrew, the word is ruach, meaning
spirit, wind, or breath. In the New Testament, the Greek word pneuma carries a similar meaning. In Genesis
6:17, “the ruach of life” is translated “the breath of life.” Generally ruach is translated “spirit,”
whether concerning the human spirit, a distressing spirit (1 Sam. 16:23), or the Spirit of God. [Spirit-Filled
Life Bible, 474, “Word Wealth: 2 Sam. 23:2 Spirit.”] Pneuma is that part of a person capable of responding
to God. [Ibid., 1697, “Word Wealth: Romans 7:6 Spirit.”]
Ephesians 5:1–21 gives us an outline to follow in providing our children with a sound moral, spiritual, and intellectual
basis for life. Approaching the raising of our children, however, requires strength of character on our part, determination,
and, above all, consistency in every area of our lives and in how we administer God's standards in our homes.
Our moral obligation can be fulfilled as we teach our children the truths found in Ephesians 5:1–7. Look up
these verses and list the things we are to teach our children to follow and avoid.
Ephesians 5:1 says that we are to imitate God “as dear children.” This assumes that our children are also trying
to imitate their parents—us! Based on this passage, what might you need to change in your life to be an example
worthy of being imitated?
Doubtless there will be times that each of us will be misunderstood by our children as we seek to live out the
will of God in raising them. But take heart. Scripture even gives us a guideline to follow for the years of the
minority of our children. Read Galatians 4:1, 2. What light does it shed on how our children are to be dealt with
in their younger years?
How can these verses be lived out in an atmosphere of love?
What do you think might be the benefits for a child of being treated as a “servant” in the home (as described in
the Galatians passage) rather than as an peer?
Look up Mark 10:43, 44. How might these verses tie in to the Galatians verses? How might learning to “be a servant”
in their younger years help our children's ability to “be great” in their adulthood?
Look up these other verses that tell other aspects of God's moral standard. Write down what we are to learn.
Mic. 6:8
James 2:9
Matt. 5:8; 1 John. 3:3
John 4:23, 24; 15:26
Stop right now and ask the Lord to show you how you are to apply His moral standards to your home life in a firm,
yet nonjudgmental, loving atmosphere.
Recently, in a conversation with my teenage son, I was struck again with the importance and priority of my spiritual
task as a parent. As we talked, I shared with him how, as concerned as I was with his physical well-being, his
emotional wholeness, his grades, his sports, everything about his life, I was more concerned about his soul—because
that's the only part of him that will endure for eternity. For the first time, he began to see how everything else
pales in comparison to that aspect of our lives.
Ephesians 5:8–14 tells us about how we can meet our spiritual responsibility. Read this passage and list the
things that the Lord says are to be part of a godly life.
Instilling these truths into our children's hearts is a number-one, full-time parenting priority, because the
greatest need any of us ever have is for salvation. This need applies equally to our children.
The value of the human being can be inferred from the price paid to redeem man (John 3:16; 1 Cor. 6:20). God
the Son, the Divine One through whom the worlds were created, became flesh and died for the sins of humanity. That
He willingly shed His blood and died for us reveals not only the value of the human personality, but also the importance
of salvation. Through Christ, believers are forgiven, reckoned to be righteous, and by new birth are renewed in
the image of God. Fallen men and women can only produce the works of the flesh. Only the Spirit, by the new birth,
can renew and recover that which was destroyed by the Fall (John 3:5, 6). To reach highest human potential, to
have abundant life, one must accept Jesus Christ by faith. [Ibid., 1908, “Kingdom Dynamics: 1 Pet. 1:18, 19, Man's
Greatest Need Is for Salvation.”]
To communicate fully the importance of the spiritual dimension of our lives and live it to its ultimate fullness,
we must be willing to acknowledge that the spiritual/invisible part of our lives is as real—maybe even more real—than
the physical/tangible part of our lives. Look up these verses to see what the Bible has to say about living our
lives in the invisible realm.
Rom. 1:20
2 Cor. 4:18
Col. 1:15, 16
Heb. 11:27
Seeing into the invisible realm, through the power of the Holy Spirit, is what gives us the insight to deal
with each of our children at their own level of need, understanding, and maturity level, impacting every onslaught
Satan would attempt to make in their lives. And as we teach them these principles of life, they can begin to apply
them to their own lives so when they leave our care, their spiritual growth doesn't come to a standstill.
We begin the spiritual influence in our children's lives when they are infants by presenting them in dedication
to the Lord. Read about the dedications of Samuel and Jesus. What lessons can you draw from these examples? Is
dedication a one-time event or is there an application we can make every day?
1 Sam. 1:19–28
Luke 2:22–24
Read the following verses and list other spiritual principles that we are to instill into our children.
Ps. 31:23
Ps. 138:2
Prov. 16:20
Eph. 6:1
James 4:10
Faith Alive
How do you think that requiring our children to respond with these traits to us as their parents will help them
respond to the Lord as their heavenly Father as they reach maturity? If we are going to require our children to
respond with these traits to us, explain the importance of developing these traits in our own lives.
Now turn to Ephesians 5:15–21 as we explore how to live out our intellectual duty in raising our children. We've
already defined “intellect” as the ability to reason and discern. This pulls our parenting responsibility out from
merely getting our children to respond by their actions to helping them develop into thinking, reasoning people
who can make wise choices based on God's Word.
Read Ephesians 5:15–21 and list how the Lord tells us to walk in wisdom.
“Do not be unwise,” verse 17 exhorts us, “but understand.…” Proverbs 1:20–4:27 describes wisdom as a discerning
and beautiful woman we are to embrace and cling to throughout our lives. Take time to read this extended passage
of scripture soon, but for our purposes right here, read 4:7–13 and list the ways wisdom exalts a person.
Read these other verses and list the ways we are to relate to the Lord (and teach our children to relate to
Him) from an intellectual point of view.
Ps. 78:5–8
Ps. 119:15
Prov. 9:10
2 Tim. 3:15
James 1:5
All of this can seem a daunting task to even the most stouthearted parent! But the Lord has not left us without
encouragement. Read the following verses and list how the Lord has promised to help us accomplish what He has set
before us.
Deut. 33:27
Ps. 18:35
Is. 41:10
Is. 46:4
From The Spirit-Filled Family: Holy Wisdom to Build Happy Homes by Jack W. Hayford with Rebecca Hayford Bauer. Copyright 1994 by Jack W. Hayford.
