It is not enough merely to know the foundation for sound emotions or to understand the relationship between
a positive self-image and emotional well-being. You must take the steps necessary to move from emotional weakness
to emotional strength. The ideas in this lesson are related to all of the following lessons, so I encourage you
to refer to this lesson often.
There are at least seven major aspects of wholeness involved in seeking God's best for your emotional life.
You do not need to take them in sequence. Rather, they are like having a ring of keys—all of which need to be inserted
and turned simultaneously. These keys are habits that you must build into your life in an ongoing manner. As you
do so, I have no doubt that you will become more and more whole in your spirit, including your emotions.
Key #1: Give Your Heart to Christ
Spiritual redemption is the first key toward developing a positive self-image. People who don't know Christ
may claim that they think the world of themselves, but they won't draw that conclusion if they are honest. Most
unbelievers I know who state that they are self-sufficient in themselves and don't need Christ are miserable people
in crises. They are like beautiful flowering weeds with no strong root system.
They have only themselves upon which to rely for strength, energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and new methods.
Eventually, they get to the end of themselves. They do not have the Holy Spirit resident in them to build them
up in Christ in a way that is based on truth and is comforting even in times of chastisement.
Having a relationship with Christ Jesus resolves many issues that undermine emotional wholeness:
• Feeling guilty. Guilt is created when you have unforgiven sin. When you ask for God's forgiveness,
you are forgiven. Guilt is washed away.
• Feeling unloved. When you turn to Christ, you must accept, at least at some level, that God loves you
and desires to have an eternal relationship with you.
• Having a spirit of revenge against others. Once you have accepted God's free gift of salvation to you—acknowledging
your sin and need of a Savior—you are no longer in a position to attempt to justify why God should not forgive
others who are also sinners and in need of a Savior. What God has done for you, He desires to do for all men and
women, regardless of their past.
• Striving to earn favor with God. God's gift of salvation to you is free. You can't earn it, buy it,
or achieve it through good works. You don't deserve it. When you truly are born anew spiritually, you must accept
that any favor you have with God is on the basis of what Christ has done, is doing, and will do in you and through
you.
If you truly want to be emotionally whole today, give your life to Christ.
Once you have accepted Christ Jesus as your personal Savior, you must follow Him as your Lord. This daily following
of Christ calls you to a frequent request for God's forgiveness—a daily cleansing of your spirit that is just as
vital to your spiritual health as a daily bath is to your physical health. You seek God's forgiveness first for
your sin nature and then for the sins you commit in your human, error-prone nature as you follow Christ.
No one is capable of following Christ perfectly. Everyone is prone to both willful and innocent errors—what
some call sins of commission and sins of omission. It is for these sins that you seek ongoing forgiveness.
What the Word Says
The LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn His face from you if you return to Him (2 Chron.
30:9).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
[Jesus said,] “The one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out” (John 6:37).
What the Word Says to Me
• What insights do you have regarding the relationship between God's forgiveness and your emotional wholeness?
Key #2: Saturate Yourself with Scripture
When you are forgiven, you have a clean slate before God, but it isn't enough to have a clean slate. You need
to ask the Lord to write His truth on the slate of your heart. You need to have God's goodness instilled in you.
You acquire God's truth about virtually every situation by reading His Word. You need to saturate yourself with
God's opinion, and in the area of emotional health, that means saturating yourself with God's opinion about you.
In the Scriptures, you discover that you are
• a child of God. (See Gal. 3:26–27; 1 John 5:1–2.)
• accepted totally and completely by God. (See Acts 10:34–35; Eph. 1:3, 6.)
• an heir of the Father through Christ Jesus. (See Gal. 3:29; Titus 3:7.)
Many other descriptions of God's people appear in the Scriptures. You may want to start a list or circle them
as you read your Bible daily. If you are born again into Christ Jesus, all of these descriptions about the children
of God apply to you. Take them as part of your profile.
What the Word Says
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have
put on Christ (Gal. 3:26–27).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Then Peter opened his mouth and said: “In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever
fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him” (Acts 10:34–35).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life (Titus 3:7).
What the Word Says to Me
• What new insights do you have into your spiritual value to the Father? Can you see how these truths from
God's Word can help build emotional wholeness in you?
Key #3: Secure God's Healing for Your Faults
All people have something about themselves—their personalities, their backgrounds, their abilities—that they
don't like. Everyone has a tendency to concentrate more on the flaws and points of weakness than on the strengths.
Some things in life are givens. For example, you can't change the family into which you were born, the nation
in which you were born, your race, your physical stature and basic genetic code, and so forth. Certain physical
weaknesses or disabilities cannot be changed. When you face these unchangeable things about yourself, you are wise
to accept the way God made you. To do anything else is counterproductive. You need to assume God had a plan and
purpose for every detail of your creation.
Some things in life are givens because of the state of the world in which you live. For example, you may not
be able to do anything to alter the fact that your parents are divorced, or that your children are divorced. But
you can pray that the Lord will bring about healing in you and in your loved ones.
In yet another area, elements of your personality can be changed. For example, you may think that you are jealous
by nature. Let me assure you, envy is an acquired trait. You can ask the Lord to heal you of your jealousy and
to help you to trust Him and, in your trust of Him, to trust others.
How do you become healed?
First, you identify the character or personality trait that you know is displeasing to the Lord and ask Him
to forgive you for allowing this trait to develop.
Second, you ask Him to heal you of this tendency.
Third, you give Him permission to do whatever He needs to do in your life to make you whole.
Fourth, accept with your faith that God is at work in your life and that He will make you whole in His timing
and according to His methods.
God is merciful. He forgives; He heals; He enters with His divine presence any area of your life that you open
up to Him.
What the Word Says
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved
blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it (1 Thess. 5:23–24).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he
made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to
the potter to make. Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying … “Can I not do with you as this potter?” says
the Lord. “Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand” (Jer. 18:3–6).
What the Word Says to Me
• In what areas of your emotional life are you being challenged today to trust God to heal you?
Key #4: Stop Bartering with God
Maybe you have an approach to God that can be stated like this: “If I just work hard enough and do enough good
in my life, God will approve of me.” You are attempting to barter good works for God's acceptance.
God accepts you! But you are having trouble accepting God's love.
You may have difficulty accepting the mercy of God because you have never fully received God's love. Or you
may be so accustomed to the give-and-take, buy-and-sell nature of our culture that you assume you can deal with
God the same way: “You do this for me and I'll do this for You.” God doesn't operate according to that human principle.
God's principle is one of total acceptance of you when you ask for His forgiveness and seek to do His will.
If He desires to change something in your life—always for your good and for your eventual blessing—His chastisement
is patient and kind (never beyond your ability to bear), and His love is constant (never withheld or removed).
You can't barter your way around God's will. Stop trying.
What should be your approach instead of bartering?
Trust God. Ask Him for what you desire, and then trust Him to answer your prayer according to His wisdom and
infinite provision.
What the Word Says
We trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe (1 Tim. 4:10).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matt. 6:33).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
I will leave in your midst
A meek and humble people,
And they shall trust in the name of the LORD (Zeph. 3:12).
What the Word Says to Me
• In what ways are you being challenged today to trust God for all that you need, especially in the areas
of emotional love, support, and wholeness?
Key #5: Share Yourself with Others
Too much introspection into your problems and weaknesses can cause you to become ingrown. Have you ever had
an ingrown toenail? Then you know how just a small ingrown element of your physical body can cause pain. This same
principle applies to your spiritual and emotional lives. You can turn inward and over time cause great damage to
yourself, all in the name of trying to know yourself or fix your problems.
The best cure for many emotional difficulties is to turn outward to others and start giving of yourself to others.
You may say, “But I don't have anything to give.” Every person has something to give, even if it's only a smile,
a kind word, or a pat on the shoulder in a time of need. Sometimes just your presence can be a gift to someone,
especially to someone who is lonely, grieving, or suffering with a long-standing illness.
The happiest people I know are those who have wide-open hearts and who give generously to others. Such individuals
are totally secure in God's love.
Give without any expectation of receiving from the person to whom you give. God will see your heart and what
you do and reward you accordingly. Trust Him to take care of you.
By giving freely and generously, you open up yourself. This open stance before God and other people is important
to emotional health. It is only as you open yourself that you learn to trust, and being able to trust is vital
to your ability to receive God's forgiveness and healing, and to believe that God will supply your needs.
What the Word Says
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the LORD forever,
For in the LORD Jehovah is everlasting strength (Isa. 26:3–4).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of
Nazareth, rise up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and
ankle bones received strength. So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping,
and praising God. And all the people … were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened (Acts 3:6–10).
What the Word Says to Me
• What new insights do you have about the importance of giving to emotional health?
• In what ways are you feeling challenged to become a more giving person?
Key #6: Stop Dwelling on Your Past Failures
A part of receiving God's forgiveness is forgiving yourself. Once God has forgiven you, you have no claim to
your past sins, failures, or weaknesses. You are a new creature in Christ Jesus!
Each time you dwell on your past failures and errors, you are closing, to a certain degree, your heart and mind
to the current and future blessing that God has for you. Force yourself to think instead of the many ways God has
helped you and blessed you. Anytime you find yourself reflecting on past failures, remind yourself that God has
delivered you from sin. You have been saved by Christ Jesus. You are forgiven!
Then turn your mind to the positive things that God has done for you, in you, and through you. Start praising
Him for His goodness.
• What new insights do you have into the ways in which a negative attitude toward your past failures and
sins can keep you emotionally stunted?
• In what ways are you being challenged by the Lord?
Key #7: Ask the Holy Spirit for Help
The Holy Spirit is imparted to you when you place your trust in Jesus Christ. The ministry of the Holy Spirit
is to give you daily guidance and counsel—in other words, to help you walk in the ways of the Lord and to make
wise choices as various situations and circumstances arise.
Ask for the help of the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. Ask Him to guard you from evil and to guide you into righteousness.
Give Him charge over your agenda, your schedule, and your daily appointments. Trust Him to bring you to persons
in need so that you might minister to them, and to bring to you the help you need in the form that is best for
you to receive it.
What the Word Says
[Jesus said,] “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the
Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for
He dwells with you and will be in you” (John 14:16–17).
What the Word Says to Me
What the Word Says
[Jesus said,] “And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment” (John
16:8).
What the Word Says to Me
• What new insights do you have into your emotional health and how to put yourself into a position to be
made whole by God?
From Becoming Emotionally Whole: Overcome Negative Emotions and Become
Happier and Healthier by Charles Stanley. Copyright 1996 by Charles Stanley.
