Introduction
How Do You Feel Today?
How are you feeling?
We usually ask that question about a person's physical health. It's an equally valid question, however, to ask
about a person's emotional state of being.
Each of us has an emotional state of well-being that is just as vital to our overall wholeness as our physical
or spiritual well-being. You cannot be a whole person in Christ Jesus if you are in bondage to your emotions or
in denial of them.
I continually am amazed at the number of people I meet who try to deny that they have an emotional response
to the situations they encounter. They seem to believe that it is weak for a person to cry, a flaw for a person
to feel anger or to express disappointment, a lack of self-control for a person to laugh aloud. Such people are
missing out on the fullness of what it means to be alive.
An expression of emotion is part of what makes us human. Emotions are a gift of God, who created each of us
with a capacity to feel and to express emotions. Furthermore, emotions are vital to our ability to communicate
to others the uniqueness of our personalities. They are also a means of responding to God, to other people, and
to life in general.
Many people don't know how to express their emotions in healthful ways that promote good relationships with
friends and family members. Learning how to deal with one's emotions—how to direct them toward good outcomes, express
them without sinning, and give voice to emotions in order to improve communication—is a vital skill.
Still other people allow themselves to have a free-flowing emotional response to life, and they have learned
to control their emotions, but they are uncomfortable talking about the way they feel.
Learning how to tell others what you are feeling and why is a part of becoming a mature person. It is a skill
that is critical to the development of adult-to-adult relationships.
I don't know where you are today in terms of answering the question “How are you feeling?” I do know this, however:
wherever you are on the spectrum of emotional growth—from denial to full expression—the Lord Jesus Christ desires
that you have emotional health. He desires that you express emotions in the way that He created them to be expressed.
He desires that you freely admit to emotions, that you know how to control them and use them in right ways, and
that you discuss your emotional responses with others.
Expressing Emotions
Are there good and bad emotions? Yes and no. Emotions in and of themselves are neutral. Their expression takes
on the nature of good and bad.
All emotions are valid. Each has a place in God's design of your human psyche and spirit. God created your emotions
so that you might enjoy them, communicate with them.
Each person, to a certain extent, is going to have a unique response to life's situations, problems, circumstances,
and challenges. One person may weep at the beauty of a moving piece of music, another person may sit in silent
awe, and still another person may stand to give thunderous applause. We must allow others the privilege of their
expression.
We also must give one another the privilege of expressing emotions privately. Although I advocate the healthful
and free expression of emotions, I do not advocate that a person be required to express emotions in the presence
of others.
Conversely, we must be careful not to assume that we have the right to express our emotions freely and fully
in the presence of others. Every public expression of emotion should take into consideration the public being asked
to witness the emotional display. Simple courtesy and respect should govern our behavior. Restraint is not denial
of emotions; it is control of them in the presence of others.
Sometimes we are overcome with emotion. We may lose control in a particular situation or circumstance. At those
times, we may feel we should apologize for our lack of control or restraint, but we should never apologize for
having feelings. When we apologize for having emotions, we are in danger of stuffing them, with a possible eruption
later. Stuffed emotions can be damaging.
Uncharted Waters
For most of us, the realm of emotions has uncharted territories. We are unsure of the language of emotions.
We have neglected or feared to explore areas of the inner life.
Recognize at the outset of this study that if this is true for you, it is likely true for every other person
you know. Give family members, your circle of friends, other church members, your Bible study group, the freedom
to err on their way toward emotional health.
In Summary . . .
God made you to have feelings. He has a desire for you to experience His presence with your emotions, to express
yourself emotionally, and to have an emotional relationship with other people.
The Lord desires that you become emotionally whole!
From Becoming Emotionally Whole: Overcome Negative Emotions and Become
Happier and Healthier by Charles Stanley. Copyright 1996 by Charles Stanley.
