From where do our emotions come? Are they a source of evil or good?
People often ask me these two questions, although not always that directly. At times, people seem to imply that
emotions are evil or that it is bad to exhibit certain emotions.
Our emotions are part of our creation. God gave us our emotions. He made us to be emotional creatures.
The first few chapters of the book of Genesis are filled with emotions. In the first chapter, we see that creation
arose from God's desire for fellowship with man, the culmination of His creation of the universe. Genesis 2 introduces
the concept of loneliness. The Lord says about Adam, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him
a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18). In the third chapter, we see Adam and Eve experiencing fear. When Adam
hears God calling to him, he responds, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked;
and I hid myself” (Gen. 3:10). Desire, loneliness, and fear are three of our most basic emotions, and they appear
in the opening verses of the Bible.
• Identify the last time you felt these emotions:
Desire (especially a desire to change or to start something new)
Loneliness
Fear
The fruit of the Holy Spirit—the character qualities that the Holy Spirit manifests in our lives—are emotion-laden
fruit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (See Gal.
5:22–23.) The Holy Spirit has chosen our emotions as His means of expressing Himself in our lives. Conversely,
when Paul identifies the works of the flesh, he includes both emotions and behavior.
Take special note of the verses below, and identify areas for growth in your emotional and spiritual life.
What the Word Says
Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery,
hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness,
revelries, and the like; of which I tell you before-hand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who
practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's
have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another (Gal. 5:19–26).
What the Word Says to Me
• In what ways are you feeling challenged to develop greater emotional health as part of your spiritual development?
Let me call your attention specifically to Galatians 5:24: “And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh
with its passions and desires.” Some people believe this verse implies that we are to crucify all our passions
and desires. That isn't what this verse says. It says we who are in Christ are to have crucified theflesh—in
other words, the fleshly display of passions and desires that Paul terms “works of the flesh.”
Yes, we are to crucify hate, a desire for continual dispute, jealousy, envy, and the emotions related to selfish
ambition and outbursts of anger. But no, we are not to crucify our emotions as a whole. We have the potential
for displaying the Holy Spirit at work in us through behaviors that rise from love, joy, peace, and so forth.
In a very general sense, our emotions are neutral. They can be turned to good or evil. Our goal as Christians
is to control our emotions so that we manifest them in ways that build up others and ourselves.
God would not have given us something inherently bad. That's an important idea to share with someone who believes
that her emotions cause her to sin. Emotions can be allowed to run amok to the point that they result in sinful
behavior. But the same emotions can also be turned toward Christ and be used to display godly behavior. Our emotions
don't get us into trouble. Rather, we sometimes allow our emotions to have free rein over the will, and that gets
us into trouble.
Emotions were given to us to serve us, not master us.
What Is the Purpose of Our Emotions?
God gave us our emotions for a specific purpose.
The apostle Paul wrote to Timothy these words of encouragement: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7). The Lord intends for us to be filled with the power
of the Holy Spirit, the emotion of love, and to have the self-control (sound mind) to make wise choices about how
we will display the power of the Holy Spirit with love.
Emotions were given to us for very positive reasons, the foremost one of which is to prompt us to act.
We may think that a certain behavior is the right thing to do, but until we feel something with regard to that
behavior, we may not act. Take, for example, the person who knows it's dangerous to drive while feeling sleepy.
Such a person may think, I shouldn't drive while I'm so tired. Still, that person may drive on down the
road. But if that person dozes for just a second and awakens to find himself on the rough shoulder of the road
just inches from going off into a deep ravine, that person is likely to experience fear. And the fear will be the
genuine wake-up call to the person: Pull off and get some rest, or you'll be in big trouble!
Emotions mobilize us into action.
Fear tends to mobilize us to protect ourselves. (This is not a spiritual fear, but the normal emotion
of fear, such as fear of falling, fear of danger, and so forth.) This fear compels us not to touch a hot stove.
Anger mobilizes us to seek ways in which to correct wrongs—both those done against us and those done
against loved ones.
Love compels us to relate to one another and to God, to fulfill the needs of others, and to fulfill our
need for satisfaction and meaning in life.
Desire mobilizes us to obtain or possess, to get the things we need for our psychological, emotional,
and spiritual well-being. Desire is at the root of all ambition to seek rewards of all kinds.
I feel certain that you can identify ways in which these four emotions have compelled you or people you know
to certain types of behavior. Identify some of the behaviors, both good and bad.
Emotion
Fear
Behavior That Resulted
Good:
Bad:
Emotion
Anger
Behavior That Resulted
Good:
Bad:
Emotion
Love
Behavior That Resulted
Good:
Bad:
Emotion
Desire
Behavior That Resulted
Good:
Bad:
A Purpose of Pleasure
When we manifest emotions in good behavior, beauty, harmony, mutual benefit, and growth result. When we manifest
emotions in bad behavior, we find discord, estrangement, destruction, and sin.
Furthermore, when we manifest emotions in right ways, we experience lasting enjoyment—the fun itself may be
temporary, but it is a pleasure to recall. When we manifest emotions in wrong ways, we may experience temporary
enjoyment, but the pleasure is fleeting and the memory of the occasion is painful. The expression of emotion always
has about it an element of pleasure or enjoyment. I have no doubt that this is a second reason that God gave us
emotions: so that we might experience pleasure, fun, good times, warm relationships, and satisfying feelings.
God intends for His people to enjoy life. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is expressed as joy! We are to
delight in God's creation, in friendships, in marriage, in parenting. We are to enjoy the work and ministry opportunities
that God puts before us. God has given us the emotional equipment necessary for experiencing pleasure, self-fulfillment,
and self-satisfaction.
When we deny ourselves all opportunities truly to enjoy life—with gusto, with enthusiasm, with energy—we miss
out on the fullness of life God desires for us. For too many people, pleasure has become equated with sin; enjoyment
has become equated with irreverence.
That isn't the way God designed life. He wants us to experience pleasure and to know how to have a good time
without sinning. He wants us to be passionate people, especially in godly expressions of love and caring for others.
He wants us to enjoy all that He gives us, does for us, and imparts to us, and to respond with exuberant, energetic,
joyful praise, thanksgiving, and acts of worship.
The Christian life was never intended to be stripped of emotions. Rather, Christians are to manifest a full,
abundant, overflowing range of emotions in behavior that honors God and shows respect for others.
• What new insights do you have about God's creation of emotions and the purpose of emotions in your life?
How Do Our Emotions Relate to Behavior?
Our emotions work in a very basic way, common to both men and women. Emotions are attached to every thought.
We have a way of “feeling” about every idea we entertain.
We allow a thought or idea to take root in our minds, we visualize that thought taking place in reality, and
then we make a decision in the will about how to respond. The degree to which our emotions are a part of this process—in
giving birth to the idea, in enhancing the visualization, and in compelling us to make a decision—determines how
quickly and how intensely we will act on the idea.
The Scriptures tell us about humankind, “As he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Prov. 23:7). What you choose
to think about—or allow yourself to think about—gets you into trouble far more than your emotions. It is your thought
life that you are to govern with diligence. Avoid activities that you know are going to feed negative or sinful
thoughts and images into your mind.
You must go out of your way to halt the flood of violent, seductive, and tempting messages that come to you
unsolicited and undesired. Turn off the dial, turn away your eyes, turn down certain invitations, and in many cases,
you'll be sparing yourself the agony of dealing with an overwhelming number of ungodly ideas. Once sinful images
and ideas have entered your mind, your emotions will be engaged regarding them. Your willpower will be required
to make a decision about how to respond. It is much easier to avert or deny the input of negative, potentially
harmful ideas than to exert willpower needed to keep from responding to them, often to your detriment spiritually.
• Can you recall a time when you found it very difficult not to act on an idea or image that had rooted itself
into your mind and engaged your emotional response to it?
The Foundation for Controlling Emotions
Repeatedly in this study guide, you will find the word control linked to emotions. What exactly does
control mean?
First, let's deal with four other alternatives people take in responding to their emotions:
1. Repression. When people repress their emotions, they refuse to admit that they have feelings. They
may deny the existence of one or more very specific emotions. For example, they may refuse to admit that they feel
angry or discouraged or depressed. Some people attempt to repress all emotions, however, for various reasons we'll
discuss in the next lesson. Repression is unhealthy for the person, and it can lead to behaviors that cause harm
to others.
2. Stifling. When people have emotional responses but refuse to give them expression, they are stifling
their emotions. They may have an “I can't” or an “I won't” orientation. They feel a deep agitation inside, but
for either “can't” or “won't” reasons, they refuse to give expression to what they feel. The result is often immense
frustration. Some people refer to this as stuffing emotions inside.
If people continue to stifle what they feel, they may find the emotions building to an eruption point later
in life, or they may find their pent-up emotions eating away at them, resulting in physical or psychological illness.
3. Drifting. Some people never pay attention to their emotions. They simply drift along in them, figuring
that emotions come and go.
If we experience emotions and don't face up to them and deal with them, they can become entrenched in us. They
can become more firmly rooted in us rather than dissipate or disappear.
For example, if a person is angry in one situation, but that anger is allowed to run its course without intervention,
resolution, or some sense of control by the will, that anger can become the foundation for a pattern in the person's
life. The next time the person is angry, the new anger builds on the previous anger. The behavior associated with
the anger may be more volatile or violent. Over time, the person may become an angry person—ready to be ignited
at any time. When emotions drift without control they become deeply ingrained in the personality.
4. Praying for deliverance. I have met a number of people who choose to pray for deliverance from certain
emotions rather than face up to the fact that they need to control their emotions. They want God to take away their
capacity for anger, loneliness, fear, discouragement, and so forth rather than learn to deal with these emotions
and grow in an ability to use them constructively in their lives.
A prayer I hear often is, “Lord, deliver me from impatience.” That sounds like a good prayer on the surface,
but let's consider what would happen if the Lord really did deliver you from impatience. You would lose your frustration
at not having things done on your timetable and in your way, and you would probably lose any desire to pursue good
goals. Your ambition would be squelched. You would allow many things to slide by unchallenged and uncorrected.
You may easily become nonchalant in your attitude and lackadaisical toward sin.
Do you really want to be without ambition? Do you really want to lose your drive in life and not achieve your
full potential? Do you really want to become so patient with evil and sin that you do nothing to defeat the enemy
of your soul? I doubt that's what you want!
Rather than pray for deliverance from emotions, you need to pray for God to give you wisdom in how to deal with
your emotions and how to control them in ways that are in keeping with His Word and His plan for your life.
• Have you tended to repress, stifle, drift, or seek deliverance for emotions as alternatives to learning
how to control your emotions?
• In what ways do you feel challenged by the Lord to pursue greater emotional health today?
The Process of Controlling Emotions
How then can you truly control your emotions?
1. Experience the new birth in Christ Jesus. You can't control your emotions by yourself. You need the
help of the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit's help is made available only to those who accept the sacrifice that
Jesus Christ made on the cross, receive God's forgiveness, and open their lives to the indwelling presence and
power of the Holy Spirit.
If you truly want to control your emotions today, ask Jesus to become the Lord of your life and to fill you
with His Holy Spirit.
If you are already a Christian, ask the Holy Spirit to help you to control your emotions and to change the emotional
responses you have that may be damaging or in error.
2. Examine your dominant thoughts. What do you think about most often? What you think about today is
what you become tomorrow. As you examine your thoughts, be aware of the feelings associated with them. If your
dominant thought is about how a person has wronged you and what you might do in response, consider your feelings.
Are you angry, disappointed, frustrated, or perplexed? Your feelings are going to have a great impact on the course
of action you begin to imagine and eventually may choose to take.
3. Exchange thoughts and feelings that are contrary to God's Word. When you truly take inventory of your
thoughts and the feelings associated with them, you may find that what you are thinking and feeling is not
what would be pleasing to God. To know fully what is pleasing to God, of course, you need to have an under-standing
of what the Bible says.
Once you have identified a thought pattern—or a set of emotional responses to a thought or idea—that is not
in line with God's Word, ask the Lord to help you change the way you are thinking and feeling. Choose to have a
different set of responses. Choose to think about something else. Choose to feel in a different way. A change of
this type often takes patience, love (of yourself and a growing love of others), and a genuine desire to pursue
a godly life.
Identify what you would rather be thinking about. Identify the way you would like to feel. Be aware that in
choosing to think about something other than what has occupied your mind, you must choose something pleasing to
God. In identifying a new emotional response, you must choose something that is in keeping with God's plan and
desire for you. Exchanging one harmful thought and emotion for another certainly is not what the Lord wants.
4. Exercise your powerful privilege of prayer. Thank the Lord in prayer for changing your thoughts and
feelings to conform with His Word and the life manifested by the Lord Jesus Christ. State your prayer in positive
terms: “Thank You, Lord, that You will teach me to trust, You will help me to overcome, You will give me this new
feeling as my automatic response toward this situation or person.” Such a prayer can result in strengthening your
faith and renewing your mind.
5. Expect God's healing to begin immediately. You may not feel the Lord healing you of harmful thoughts
and emotions immediately, but you can start believing for God's healing immediately. Believing is the forerunner
of all spiritual realities. In turn, spiritual realities are the forerunner of all physical and material realities.
You may not see the fullness of God's healing at work in your life for some time, but you can expect and believe
that God's healing has begun in you.
Why pray for healing of thought patterns and emotional responses? Because ultimately, the damaging emotional
responses that are not controlled or that are not changed can bring about great harm in your life. They can result
in physical ailments too numerous to recount, as well as psychological or mental illness. They can result in flawed,
unhealthy, or shattered relationships.
A failure to control your emotions—which may include correcting or changing your emotional responses to life—can
be devastating, especially if your errant emotions lead you to sin or cause others to sin. The end result of sin
is death, both literally and figuratively.
• Have you had an experience in which the Lord led you to change your dominant thoughts and your emotional
responses?
God's Desire for You: Strong, Healthy Emotions
The Lord desires that you have strong, healthy emotions subjected to the control of the Holy Spirit at work
in your life. The Lord created emotions for your good, and He desires that you draw benefit and pleasure from being
a person who can have a “feeling” response to Him and to others.
Make it your prayer today that you will ask the Lord to help you develop healthy emotions. Ask Him to give you
the courage to exhibit or manifest your emotions in appropriate and healthy ways to the benefit of yourself and
others.
• What new insights do you have into emotions?
• In what ways do you feel challenged today?
From Becoming Emotionally Whole: Overcome Negative Emotions and
Become Happier and Healthier by Charles Stanley. Copyright 1996 by Charles Stanley.
